There are three things keeping us sane right now; Lovers, sexy times and online shopping!
Spice up your Halloween in lockdown with the perfect night in from Club X and make 2020 the horniest Halloween yet.Â
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Step 1: Choose your character: Have a chat with your lover, ask them about their fantasies and see which roles they could see themselves playing that excite you and vice versa. Donât yuck their yum, but also find something you both feel comfy with. Here are some common roles to play as a good starting point that will help you build a narrative: Doctor and Nurse (or patient), teacher and student, prison guard and inmate, cowboy / cowgirl / western, cop and assailant, master and maid and so on. We encourage you to get creative.
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Step 2: Pick your costume: Now that you have your roles/characters comes the fun part â SHOPPING. Here youâll find our range of costumes, if you canât find a costume for your particular role, get creative. For example, if youâre a schoolteacher - put on a suit. If youâre a soldier, find some khaki or camo and dirty yourself up a bit. Itâs fun to leave some details to your loversâ imagination once youâve decided upon roles e.g. What underwear you put underneath (or lack of), what colour lipstick etc. When the time comes to play; Get dressed in separate rooms and add to the mystique.
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Step 3: Choose your play / implements: This is a great opportunity to explore light kink (or heavy if youâre experienced) with your lover. Have you fantasised about being spanked? Which implements would you like to be spanked with? Spanking could be done with a hand, cat of 9 tails, a paddle or a cane. For beginners itâs best to start off with something that has a bigger surface area as itâll hurt less. To assess intensity with something like spanking; discuss with your partner on a scale of 1-10 to rate some test spanks so they know your limits. Are you turned on by the idea of being blind-folded, or tied up helplessly? Do you want to be dominated or would you prefer to be the dominant one? Maybe you will take turns at being dominant and submissive. Experiment and explore your fantasies together through conversation. You can find BDSM products such as rope, blindfolds and spanking devices here.
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Step 4: Write your story: Now that youâve discussed the types of play that turn you and your lover on, itâs time to get creative and write your narrative. It doesnât have to be in great detail, but certainly bullet points to guide you and be sure nothing within the story line is pushing or violating your loverâs boundaries. For example, if youâve decided to do schoolteacher and student; does the teacher want to be the instigator/dominant or does the student want to dominate? Does the student want to be submissive and disciplined by the teacher? If so, what does that look like? Spanking with a ruler? Does the student want to be bent over the teachers knee for a spanking? The teacher might want to put the student into detention. If so, what did the student do to get into detention in the first place? Maybe the student was caught masturbating at the back of the classroom or sending smut to other students? Itâs all in the details!
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Step 5: Be safe, Consent: Choose a safe word. Itâs important during any BDSM or kink play that you and your play partner have a pre-negotiated safe word so that you donât have to break the narrative. Otherwise it can become confusing in the situation as to what is real and what isnât during play. The most commonly used safe-word strategy is the traffic light system. If your play partner says âredâ that means stop right now. If they say âyellowâ it means slow down and check in. And finally, âgreenâ means go, keep going, Iâm really enjoying myself. Both parties should have the opportunity to use a safe word at any point, no matter what role theyâre in.
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As for physical safety, some people are really into play that eventuates into skin breaking and bruising. Please have conversations about how that feels for both of you before play, as a lot of impact play can end in cuts and bruises. Some people really like marks, but the key is to be prepared and check in with a partner to find out if theyâd be okay with marks beforehand.
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Not all role play will or needs to end in intercourse or penetration so be sure to check in with your partner to see if theyâd like it to. Finally, try not to be under the influence of mind-altering substances when engaging in more adventurous types of play with your lover, this can blur the lines of consent and safety.
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Step 6: Have fun, be someone else and lose yourself: Go for it, explore each otherâs fantasies in a safe space, be someone else and fuck someone else, practice the traffic light safe word system. As adults we donât get the opportunity to play anymore and most people who engage in this kind of play find it rather therapeutic.
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Step 7: Aftercare: With kink, roleplay or bondage gear your body and mind will need some aftercare from one another. You release endorphins and, in some cases, can feel high or euphoric. This means there will be a level of come down that happens after such an intense sexual experience. This looks different for everyone, so ask your lover what they need regarding aftercare. Usually intimacy is good: cuddling, closeness, kissing, drink lots of water and when youâre ready eat something.